


Falling For Someone Unexpected

by PeripateticAO3



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Adopted-Sibling Incest, Alternate Universe - High School, Comedy, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-03 15:32:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13999146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeripateticAO3/pseuds/PeripateticAO3
Summary: The Kim couple had always wanted a child. They tried several times, but Mrs. Kim never seemed to get pregnant. After endless tries they decided to adopt a baby boy, they named him Kyungsoo. The said baby was recently born and the couple could not only take him, but fall in love with his plump squishy little self. Barely three months later Mrs. Kim got accidentally pregnant and the couple couldn’t have been happier. Waiting for the surprise nine months they discovered that they had gotten another baby boy. And of course, they fell in love with him too. They named him Jongin.Now they were a real family, with two kids to take care of and all the love in the world to give.But after 15 years the two boys, now teenagers, developed strange feelings for each other. Feelings they tried to ignore, but could never forget.





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second story I'm cross-posting from AFF, which means it was already uploaded there a long time ago :)
> 
>  
> 
> Bare with me, this is one of my older fics so it's probably not one of my finest works.

”Junah, what’s wrong?”

 

”I don’t really feel good Minjun-ah.”

 

”I’m coming home now.”

 

”No, you have to work honey. I can take care of Kyungie, don’t worry.” 

 

”You can’t make me not worry Junah-yah.”

 

”But-!”

 

”No, you can’t.”

 

”Alright, drive safely.”

 

”Take care of yourself in the meantime.”

 

Minjun sent a flying kiss over the phone and hung up. He took the car keys from his desk and ran down the stairs of the building, not even waiting to take the elevator. Twenty minutes later he was parking the car outside his house. He opened the door in a hurry and rushed in. He new that something was happening, Junah never called him like that on work hours. He heard their baby boy crying on the second floor and ran up to him. Minjun took him in his arms and hushed him back to sleep, and that’s when he heard some weird noises coming from the bathroom in front of the baby’s room. He put Kyungsoo back in the cradle and went to the bathroom to see what was happening. 

 

Junah was vomiting in the toilet and her face was paler than ever before. Her husband hurried to sit down beside her and calm her down, patting her back and holding her hair when she vomited. 

 

”Let’s go to the doctor Junah.”

 

”No. I feel fine, don’t worry.” 

 

”You clearly don’t feel _fine_. We are going to see a doctor.”

 

”But-” 

 

”I don’t want you to be sick honey.” 

 

Junah nodded in defeat and stood up with Minjun’s help.  

 

 

 

∞

 

 

 

”You can come in now Mr. Kim.” 

 

Minjun went inside the doctor’s room, with Kyungsoo sleeping in his arms, to find a very happy, but still looking sick, Junah sitting on one of the chairs in front of the doctors desk. He went straight to her and asked about her state while she just nodded it off. 

 

”Dr. Lee, can I tell him?” Junah asked him while holding her husband’s hands in her’s.

 

”Of course you can Junah-ssi!” 

 

She turned to face Minjun, who took a seat on the chair beside her and let their baby snuggle up on his chest while sucking his thumb, and smiled even brighter. 

 

”Minjun-ah…”

 

”W-what is it?”

 

She laughed a bit when she saw the confusion spreading across his face. Junah smiled so bright and with the news in her mind she couldn’t help let a tear slip down her cheek, though she brushed it off rapidly with the back of her hand, Minjun was getting more and more worried with her weird behavior.

 

”I… I’m…” 

 

”What is it babe? I’m starting to get worri-”

 

”I’m pregnant Minjun-ah.” 

 

Minjun’s eyes widened and he covered his mouth with his hand. His heart was exploding of happiness and he let tears fall down his face. It didn’t take him a second more to hug his wife tightly with Kyungsoo between them, sleeping soundly. 

 

”It hasn’t even been three months since we adopted Kyungie and we are going to have another child.” Minjun’s face lit up with his own words. 

 

”Are you happy?” 

 

”Right now, I’m the happiest man in the world.” 

 

 

 

∞

 

 

 

”JONGIN! WAKE UP!”

 

The boy groaned while lying on his bed. He covered his head with the blanket and faced the pillow. 

 

Kyungsoo huffed in annoyance and looked over the room to find something to wake his younger brother up with. He couldn’t really find anything that would be to any use and would not hurt the half-asleep boy, so he decided to jump up on him and tickle his sides, stranding him between his legs.

 

Jongin left out a high pitched scream and laughed while moving frantically under Kyungsoo. He uncovered himself quickly to take a hold of the hands tickling him and stop the other’s actions, but Kyungsoo was stronger than a newly woken up Jongin lying on the bed. 

 

”Yah, hyung! Stop it! It’s- Ah! I can’t- ha! Stop!” Jongin laughed and squirmed around under Kyungsoo, trying to avoid the other’s touch. 

 

”This is unfair!” Jongin continued shouting. ”I’m only eleven!” 

 

Kyungsoo stopped and looked down on him.

 

”And I’m twelve.”

 

”Exactly! You’re older, you should take care of me.” 

 

”Fine then.” Kyungsoo smiled and gave him a pinch on the cheek before getting off of him. He left Jongin slightly panting on the bed and went outside the room. ”Hurry up or we’ll be late for school!” He shouted before closing the door. 

 

Jongin pulled the blanket up like he had it before. 

 

”And don’t you dare try to fall asleep again!” Kyungsoo shouted from the hall. 

 

The younger groaned while uncovering himself _again_. He sat up, running his hand through his hair, and sighed. 

 

 

 

∞

 

 

 

It had been a long day. PE was the last thing Kyungsoo wanted to end his school day with, but he had no other choice. It wasn’t really the actual lessons he disliked, it was the changing part. All those crazy better looking guys playing around with the towels in the locker room wasn’t his thing, nor expose himself for them either. That’s why he often showered when he got home, at least on Wednesday’s when PE was his last class. 

 

He went home as usual with his bicycle, he didn’t like to take the buss like Jongin did, and locked it when he arrived. When he went inside the house, he could hear his mom talking over the phone. She was scribbling down things on a piece of paper in the kitchen while nodding in agreement, which Kyungsoo smiled at because the person on the other end of the line wouldn’t be able to see her. He took his shoes off, went through the small hallway and into the room his mother was in to give her a quick back hug. She smiled at him and continued to give her attention to the person she was talking over the phone with. 

 

Kyungsoo left her with her own business and went upstairs to have his shower. He entered his room to leave his things and undressed there. His father wasn’t home and Jongin’s classes ended later, so he wasn’t that afraid to expose himself shamelessly. 

 

His room wasn’t that big. In fact, his and Jongin’s had the same space but were decorated differently. Both were colorful and happy, but Kyungsoo’s was more rustic and Jongin’s slightly more modern. Their rooms weren’t beside each other because their shared bathroom was in between. The said bathroom was quiet big, with a bathtub, including shower, and a big space for a sink and a toilet. It only had two doors, one from Jongin’s room and the other from Kyungsoo’s, making it only possible for them to go inside by going to their room first. Their parents did also have a privet bathroom and there was another one downstairs in case a guest needed to use the restroom. So it wasn’t rare that Kyungsoo went inside the bathroom to take a shower nude. But only when he was alone, by that that his brother wasn’t at home. 

 

 

 

∞

 

 

”Mom?” 

 

She didn’t answer him. He took off his shoes at the entrance and went to the kitchen to drink a glass of water. He smiled when he saw her busy with the phone. 

 

”Hi mom.” Jongin kissed his mother’s cheek surprising her. She waved quickly before answering the person who she was talking to. 

 

”I’m gonna quickly clean my room, can you put the shower on so the tub fills up in the mean time?” Jongin asked. She just nodded him off and went back to her own business. 

 

”Okay, thank you!” 

 

He had been so lucky to find out that his math lesson was canceled. His teacher, Mr. Choi, was sick and the substitute teacher was already busy, so he finished school earlier that day. 

 

He ran upstairs and entered his room, leaving his backpack on the floor while he took his shirt off. It was way too hot for him in there to have so many clothes on. Although he was only sixteen years old, he was in a rather good shape. Nothing really excessive, like a light tan that covered his body and some vague muscle shapes on his arms and torso. Although he was in better shape than his brother. Kyungsoo was strong, but it didn’t show off on his body like it did on Jongin’s. 

 

The boy barely cleaned his room cleaner, it somehow always ended up by being almost as dirty as before but the things had changed places. He smiled at his accomplishment and looked at the clock. It had been ten minutes since he asked his mother for the favor and decided that it wasn’t worth waiting for more. 

 

He undressed completely and entered the bathroom, glad to hear the water pouring down behind the curtain of the tub. 

 

_She actually did it! I thought she wouldn’t, oh I love you so much mom!_

 

He put his towel on the heating radiator so it would be warm when he got out, but he found another towel there. 

 

_Wait… Did Kyungsoo hyung really let mom in his room to put the shower on for me?_

 

His eyes widened in panic when he heard the curtain slide to the side. He turned around faster than he could blink when Kyungsoo gasped. It all happened so fast that neither of them understood what had happened until it was too late. Kyungsoo had slipped when he saw Jongin naked and was falling forwards screaming. Although Jongin was panicking he went as fast as he could to catch his brother from falling. They couldn’t comprehend what was going on as they fell hard on the cold tiles that the floor was covered in. Kyungsoo gripped Jongin’s shoulders like he was about to die and the younger had wrapped his arms around his hyung protectingly. Kyungsoo was slightly shaking and his head was facing the floor beside Jongin’s head, just a few inches from getting hurt. If it wasn’t for the boy underneath him, he would’ve been in a lot of pain. Meanwhile, Jongin was blinded by the light on the ceiling. It wasn’t until Kyungsoo looked up and covered the light that they both realized in what position they were in. Their eyes widened in panic and for a moment nothing happened, they were just lying there. 

 

Until the door suddenly opened and their mom entered with even more panic.

 

”What happened?! I heard screams and I-” She cut herself when she saw the two boys lying on the floor. Naked. One on top of the other.

 

Her face was like a tomato and her eyes as big as Kyungsoo’s. Both of the boys looked at her in fear. 

 

”Uhm I’ll just…” 

 

”No mom, it’s not what you think!” Kyungsoo shouted when their mom ran out and closed the door behind her.

 

”And why the fuck did you not lock the door after you!?” He looked down on Jongin again and his face went like his mother's when he saw that Jongin was looking hysterically everywhere, particularly laying his eyes down their bodies.

 

And that’s when Kyungsoo screamed again.

 


	2. The other's friends

The atmosphere in the kitchen had never been as awkward as it currently was. Jongin was fumbling with his fingers on his knees while looking at them, avoiding all eye contact. Kyungsoo sat rigidly on his chair, staring at their parents who were sitting on the other two chairs in front of them, their dad arriving at their beloved home just in time to find his wife almost panicking.  

 

”Boys…” Their mother said, looking carefully. 

 

”Mom…” Jongin looked up and faced Kyungsoo after the older had answered. 

 

”We know that you two are teenagers, a-and you are in a difficult part of life where you become a man and-” 

 

”Dad!” This time it was Jongin who shouted. 

 

”How can we sugarcoat it for you? Em… We know that neither of you has had a stable relationship and we know that your needs can be very difficult to handle-”

 

”Mom it’s not what you think. Jongin and I aren’t doing anything-”

 

”-you should be embarrassed of telling us, we know darling.” Junah took Kyungsoo’s hands in her’s and squeezed them gently. ”We understand that both of you are growing. But boys… You shouldn’t _try_ things you don’t know about nor-”

 

” _Okaaay_ , now this is going way too far.” Jongin interrupted with. ”It was a mere accident! We fell, okay? Mom, dad, I have no such needs as you are telling us that we have-” 

 

”Oh but you do sweetie, you just don’t know it.”

 

”-that involves Kyungsoo here.” Jongin pointed at Kyungsoo and made hand gestures so his parents would understand, looking back and forth between them to make sure, that it was indeed Kyungsoo he was talking about. 

 

”And besides I am already interested in a girl.” Kyungsoo confessed. Jongin’s eyes widened in surprise and turned to face him once again.

 

”You what?” Jongin asked surprised. ”Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

”Oh whatever, I’m done with this anyway.” Kyungsoo stood up and left, Jongin ran after him with millions of questions. 

 

”They really don’t get it, right Minjun-ah?  

 

”Don’t worry Junah-yah, they’ll get it sooner or later.”

 

”I hope so.” 

 

 

∞

 

 

” _So_ …” Jongin cleared his throat while he was standing with his side leaned against the doorframe of Kyungsoo’s door and with his arms crossed, demanding attention. ”Who is that girl? Do I know her?”

 

Kyungsoo, who was laying on the bed facing the ceiling, sat up to give him an annoyed glare and fell back down on his back. 

 

” _Hyung!_ Tell me!” Jongin let his arms fall to his sides and went inside the room completely to sit on Kyungsoo’s desk chair. 

 

”Stop acting like a child. You are only one year younger than me and the difference between us is like from a toddler to a grandpa.” 

 

”Hey! No insults here!” Jongin huffed and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but roll his eyes. The older one sat up again and supported his upper body with his elbows, he turned his face to look at Jongin and crooked it slightly. 

 

”Why are you always so childish at home but not in school? It would be really funny to see how your popularity would drop to the floor if everyone knew how you really are.”  

 

”Yah! I’m not childish!” 

 

” _Of course not_.” 

 

”But you just said-”

 

”I didn’t say _anything_.” 

 

”Yes, you did! You said I was childish!”

 

”No, I didn’t.”

 

”Yah, stop messing with my brain!” Jongin threatened.

 

Kyungsoo smiled and sat on the side of the bed to reach Jongin with his hand and flick his forehead. 

 

”Idiot.” The older one laughed when Jongin’s face turned red with a mix of anger and exasperation. 

 

Jongin looked at Kyungsoo undignified and the latter laughed even more. He couldn’t stop, it was so uncontrollable to the point where Kyungsoo laid on his back and held his stomach while laughing. Jongin felt the urge and the need to pin his brother down to make him stop laughing… So he did. 

 

When Kyungsoo felt how Jongin took his arms and pinned them above his head he really did stop laughing. He looked up to see Jongin hovering over him, with their faces close enough to notice the smallest and lightest of eyelashes. Kyungsoo’s face turned a light shade of pink, but he didn’t notice it himself. He was too absorbed with Jongin’s powerful yet tender hazel eyes. The emotions flashing through those eyes were so powerful and so many that it mesmerized Kyungsoo. He started at them for a long time, trying to figure out which emotion was the one the eyes were transmitting and why they changed so fast. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t realize that Jongin was obviously watching him too. 

 

Anger, frustration, surprise, embarrassment, curiosity, excitement, attraction and, what he didn’t expect, disappointment, were all the emotions Jongin was feeling at the same time, with some more overpowering than the others in periods that lasted seconds. 

 

 _Disappointment._ He didn’t like feeling like that, it made him insecure and uncomfortable. But he couldn’t help feeling a sting in his heart when he heard about Kyungsoo’s secret crush. 

 

His face went blank and the whole conversation from before left his mind. He didn’t think of anything, he just got up and let go of Kyungsoo’s hands. The other was surprised with this action and even more when Jongin was about to leave. He was just going to pass the doorframe and close the door when it clicked in Kyungsoo’s mind.

 

”Wait!” Kyungsoo stood up and Jongin turned around, cocking an eyebrow.

 

”Why are you leaving?” Kyungsoo asked, he couldn’t stop himself from continuously look at Jongin’s eyes. 

 

”What’s her name?” Jongin ignored Kyungsoo’s question. How was he supposed to answer it if he didn’t know the answer himself?

 

”What?” Kyungsoo looked confused for a moment.

 

”Her name. What is her name?” Jongin looked somewhat annoyed in Kyungsoo’s eyes, although he was only using that arrogant image to cover his real feelings. 

 

_Insecurity._

 

Kyungsoo shallowed. He didn’t know why it felt like a sin to say her name. 

 

”S-sohee. Her name is Sohee.” 

 

 _Jealously._  

 

Jongin left and closed the door behind him.

 

_Anger._

 

 

∞

 

 

He really didn’t understand why he felt like that _the_ _whole_ _week_. All those emotions stayed inside him, eating him up without him knowing the reason. It wasn’t until he was in literature class on Friday the week after that that his feelings overpowered him. 

 

Mr. Lee had told them that they were going to write a story in groups of four. It’s not like he disliked working in groups, nor was he a bad student, but he was simply not in the mood to be writing about imaginary characters when he was trying to figure what was going on with himself. Luckily, he had ended up with one of his friends, Jaebum. They bro fisted, as they always did, and sat down with the other two. 

 

Jongin had always shared at least one class with Youngjae and the latter had known him for quiet a while. They weren’t friends but both knew that the other existed. Jongin greeted him shortly when they made eye contact and sat down beside him while Jaebum sat on his other side. He looked in front of him and recognized the fourth person immediately. It was _Kyungsoo’s_ best friend.

 

Jongin had always disliked that Hongbin guy. Well, not disliked, he just had some sort of awkward feeling about him. The way he was always so close to his brother gave him some weird shills. They made eye contact and gave each other a silent hello.

 

”Should we get started?” Youngjae said opening his laptop and a new word-document. 

 

”What do you guys want it to be about?” Hongbin said as he leaned slightly forward on the table. 

 

”Chicks. Let’s make up some hot chick and make her be with a dude or something. Everybody who reads likes that.” Jongin had learned through the years that Jaebum wasn't so ’deep’ when he talked to others. 

 

”Like in a drama?” Youngjae asked peeking his head up from behind the laptop to see Jaebum better. 

 

”Yeah, whatever.” Jaebum leaned back and crossed his arms, looking like the typical bad guy in high school. 

 

Youngjae rolled his eyes and looked at Jongin.

 

”What about you? Something you wanna add to his clever idea?” Youngjae pointed at Jaebum and the other glared at him back. Jongin didn’t know what to say so he just shrugged his shoulders. Youngjae sighed deeply and when he was going to say something Hongbin interrupted.

 

”Let’s write about two girls and one guy, where one of the girls, girl A, is jealous of the other girl, girl B, because she has the guy and girl A wants him too, although she can only watch him being taken away from her by girl B.”

 

There was a long pause where the only thing they heard was the other classmates discuss what they were going to write. Hongbin noticed that the other three guys were looking at him and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

 

”Girls like that kind of stuff.”

 

”If I can get girls with this I’m in.” Jaebum said with a smug face.    

 

”Yeah, it’s not a bad idea at all!” Youngjae was getting excited and started writing on his own. ”But the girl that gets the guy is the main character. The other one is just jealous and stuff and that’s not really what people want to re-”

 

”Why can’t she be the main?” It was like something took over Jongin. He didn’t know why he felt like it was so unfair what they were doing to that imaginary character. 

 

”What?” Hongbin said looking all confused, just like the other two.

 

”Why can’t she also get the one that she likes? Maybe she loved him more. Maybe the other girl was a bitch, even a slut! Why is it wrong for them to be together? Why can’t _I_ just be with him?” 

 

They wouldn’t have noticed Jongin’s slip of words if he hadn’t covered his mouth with his hand in panic. He looked around frantically but didn’t bother to actually _see_ if anyone else heard what he said before he ran out of the classroom. 

 

He ran through the corridors as fast as he could and only stopped to catch his breath. He took his hair in his hands like he wanted to rip it off in exasperation. Jongin was so unbelievably confused, he didn’t understand what was happening to him or why he acted like that. 

 

When he somewhat calmed down he walked the hallways with no course at all. He just went where his body took him. Soon enough the bell rang and all the students started appearing from everywhere. It was so crowded that he almost bumped into one of his friends. 

 

”Easy Jongin! What’s up with you today? You seem all weird and stuff…” 

 

”Didn’t feel like staying in class. Who are your friends?”

 

Namjoon had each of his arms around two different girls. One of them had auburn hair with freckles and short while the other one was the opposite, brunette, fair skin and slightly tall. 

 

”Oh, these ladies? They are my new muses, my inspiration for my art.” 

 

”But you don’t pai-”

 

Namjoon shushed him and looked at the girls dreamily. They looked nice, although not very interested in him. 

 

”So your names are?” Jongin gave his attention to them instead of Namjoon. 

 

”I’m Park Hyemin.” The girl with the freckles said and gave him a smile. He returned it and then slowly started to recognize her.

 

”Wait… Aren’t you Taemin’s girl?” 

 

She smiled brightly at the sound of the said boy’s name and nodded happily.

 

”Indeed I am! You are his friend right?”

 

”Yes, he is my best friend actually. Well, we are all friends, including that one.” Jongin pointed at the now disappointed Namjoon. ”Taemin didn’t show us any pics of you so the name was all we got out of him.” 

 

She giggled and covered her mouth like a fine girl, looking a bit embarrassed. 

 

”Well, I’m Ahn Sohee.” 

 

Jongin froze. He did not believe what was happening. He couldn't, he wouldn’t, believe what he heard. Not when he was so confused with his own thoughts. Not when he needed space and did not what to think about anything that was related to his brother. He didn’t want to know that the other girl in Namjoon’s arms was the one Kyungsoo had a crush on.

 

He turned slowly to face her. It annoyed him that she actually was good looking and he still didn’t know why. He just didn’t like her at all from the very beginning. 

 

”Sohee? Your name is Sohee?” 

 

”What? You heard about me or something?” 

 

”No, I was just- whatever. Um… How old are you?”

 

”I’m eighteen. What about you?” 

 

”Are you good with sports?” 

 

”Well, not all sports, but I do like to do aerobics. How old were you again?”

 

”How well do you handle a relationship?”

 

”What?”

 

”Do you like sensitive guys or more rough ones?”

 

”Excuse me?”

 

”Have you ever cheated on your boyfriend?”

 

Namjoon and Hyemin backed off slowly. They didn’t want to get involved in the quickly escalating conversation, nor get hurt for that matter. 

 

”What’s your name again?” 

 

”Kim Jongin, why?”

 

”Because you’re getting me on my nerves and I have to know at least a name I can yell at!” 

 

She was annoyed, really annoyed. 

 

”Well, why don’t you answer my questions then?!”

 

”Why do you want to know the answers?!” 

 

”Because-!”

 

_Wait, why do I want to know all that about her? It’s not like I care or have an interest in her. She’s just so god damn annoying! Why can’t she just answer and shut up? She doesn’t have to know why. She doesn’t have to know. It’s not like I could tell her because I don’t know either. What a joke you are Jongin, God damn it. It’s just that she has a really pretty hair. And her face isn’t horrible to look at. And I don’t know why it pisses me off so much! Why can’t she just be ugly? Ugh, I hate her! But why? Why do I feel like this? Why am I even behaving like this? This is not who I am, I’m not like this. It’s all so weird. Why do I get all racked up when I think that my brother likes this girl? Wait… I can’t be jealous, right? No, that’s impossible… It’s absurd to think that I, Kim Jongin, am jealous of the liking my brother has on this girl! But what if…? No Jongin! No, no, no, no! Oh who the fuck am I trying to fool, you’re drunk in jealousy. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking shit! Gosh why am I a fucking mess?! Damn it! Okay, okay… Calm down… You are just jealous that your brother likes this girl. It’s not a big deal. It’s obviously not a big deal. But why am I jealous of that? I don’t get it! If you are jealous of someone liking a person that means you like that person too, right? Wait… Oh my God…_

 

She was moving her hand in front of his face when he returned to reality. 

 

”Are you going to answer me today or what?” She put both of her hands on her hips and cocked an eyebrow. 

 

”Because… B-because…”

 

”Yes…?” 

 

”I think I like you.”


	3. Going out

”Kyungsoo?”

 

”Yes?”

 

Kyungsoo looked up to look at Hongbin’s face while they were walking together to the cafeteria. 

 

”Your brother is a bit weird sometimes.”

 

”Why do you say that?” 

 

”He kind of freaked out during literature class today and ran out of there.”

 

”He what?”

 

Kyungsoo stopped in his tracks and looked at his best friend in disbelief.

 

”Why did he do that?” 

 

”I don’t know. But I haven’t seen him since then.” Hongbin shrugged his shoulders as he answered. 

 

Kyungsoo shook his head in disapproval and walked pass Hongbin, immersed in his own thoughts. 

 

 

 

∞

 

 

 

The food wasn’t really appetizing in Kyungsoo’s eyes but he was so locked up with his own thoughts that he didn’t even care. He sat at a round table with Hongbin and their other friend Hyunsik. 

 

”Why aren’t you eating anything Kyungie?” Hongbin asked, tilting his head a bit. 

 

”You know that you’re younger than me right?” Kyungsoo looked at him almost glaring.

 

”Only by one year.” Hongbin said with a smile.

 

”You’re in my brother’s older, so don’t call me Kyungie.” Kyungsoo looked down at his food again and played with the chopsticks. 

 

”What’s wrong with _you_ today?” Hyunsik asked exchanging looks with Hongbin. 

 

Kyungsoo was about to shrug him off with some simple answer when their other friend Yoongi came running towards them. He was panting and took a hold of the table to calm down. The others looked at him in worry.

 

”Yoongi what happened?” Hyunsik asked.

 

”I-I forgot my keys in…” He gulped, trying to calm down. ”In the locker room…” 

 

”And that’s why you ran to us?” Hongbin asked in confusion. 

 

”No, no, no… I forgot my keys but I’ll be late for class if I go get them so can any of you pass by after lunch and get them for me? I’ll be so grateful.”

 

”But if you’ll be late for class then why are you here?” 

 

”Because I left my phone too and I- Oh shit!” Yoongi looked at his watch and his eyes widened in panic. ”Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! Mrs. Kang is _so_ going to kill me! Gotta go.” Yoongi ran to the exit and disappeared.

 

The three of them looked at each other and laughed. Yoongi was a disaster when it came to school; he always fell asleep in random places and forgot his things everywhere. He got scolded by the teachers various times and still things like this popped up.

 

”Guys I’m really sorry but my next class starts in twenty minutes.” Hyunsik said after they’d calmed down. 

 

”It’s okay hyung, I can go.” Kyungsoo said while slowly eating. Hongbin smiled when he saw it.

 

”You sure?” Hyunsik asked.

 

”Yeah.”

 

 

 

∞

 

 

 

Kyungsoo went to the locker room in a slow pace. His mind filled with thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jongin. 

 

_Why did he ran out of class this morning? Why was he so upset when I told him about Sohee? Why did I even tell him about Sohee? I shouldn’t have said anything… What if he actually believed it was true? Did he really don’t get that I said it because I wanted out of the awkward situation? He’s become so weird  lately. We’ve become weird with each other. I don’t understand why we act like we do with the other one near. Everything is just so weird._

 

He noticed that he had passed the door to the locker room by a few feet and chuckled. He turned around and jogged to the entrance, but when he tried to open the door it didn’t open. 

 

”What the…?” Kyungsoo cocked an eyebrow and tried again, but the door was locked. He realized that he wouldn’t go far if he kept trying like this, so he went to Mr. Jung’s office, the physical education teacher. Once there he explained the situation and the teacher agreed to let him borrow his keys, with a promise to have ’a talk’ with Yoongi later. Kyungsoo smiled and left, bowing gratefully. 

 

When he arrived to the locker room again he didn't hesitate to unlock the door. He let himself inside and that’s when he felt that something was oddly wrong. The locker room was quiet big, in other words, with many places to hide. 

 

Kyungsoo entered, despite his feelings, slowly. He listened carefully while going further inside. Something was definitely wrong. He turned around one of the lockers and suddenly heard a muffled sound. Kyungsoo froze. He listened carefully again and heard it, the sound of heavy breathings, pantings, even whispers. He gulped. 

 

_Just find the keys and the phone, then you can get the hell out of here._

 

Kyungsoo went through the locker room as quiet as possible, looking everywhere for those damn keys. He spotted them on the edge of the end of a bench from afar and relief washed over his body, but the nearer he got the louder the sounds were becoming. They volume of the things he heard sped up in an incredible pace and he was no longer hearing the same things as before. He hurried to take the keys but as soon as he looked behind the corner of the locker he stood in front of he knew he shouldn’t have done this at all. 

 

Slamming. Banging. _Fucking._ That’s what the two boys were doing. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened as they have never before. One of the boys was pressed against the wall by the other one, with only an opened button-up shirt on. The other guy had his pants, including his underwear, down to his ankles and a very marking t-shirt. The guy on the wall had his legs wrapped around the other’s waist while his neck was being abused by the other guy’s lips and his lower part of the body being fucked _hard_. Kyungsoo’s ears where filled with moans and other noises he wasn’t supposed to hear. He was so utterly shocked that he accidentally dropped the keys, making a loud noise echo through the room. 

 

_Fuck._

 

The two boys immediately stopped and turned their faces to look at him in surprise. The one against the wall looked like a deer caught in headlights, Kyungsoo didn’t even spare a glance at the other one before he took the keys and ran as fast as he could. When he was outside he slammed the door and kept running to Mr. Jung’s office. Once he arrived he was panting more than Yoongi had done in the cafeteria. 

 

”What’s wrong? What happened?” Mr. Jung seemed alarmed when he saw him.

 

”N-nothing…” He sat down on a chair trying to catch his breath. He gave the borrowed keys to his teacher while the other eyed him with a concerned look.

 

”Are you sure nothing happened?” Mr. Jung sat down on his chair in front of Kyungsoo. ”You look like you just saw a ghost.” 

 

_I wish it was._

 

”No, I just…” Kyungsoo took a deep breath to calm himself down. ”I’m just in a hurry. Class starts in ten minutes and I gotta go.” 

 

He stood up and left, leaving no time for the teacher to say something about it. 

 

Outside, he looked around to see if anyone had followed him, but no one was there. He was too exhausted to run like he did before, but too scared to walk, so instead he jogged through the corridors, heading to his locker. But what he didn’t expect was seeing two persons he knew very well, or at least one of them, holding hands and laughing together. He slowed down, almost not believing his sight. He didn’t know why but it stung in his heart to see his own brother with the girl he had told him only a few days before that he had a crush on. Even if his crush was a lie and he only knew the girl by her name, he felt betrayed. 

 

It wasn’t even the fact that Jongin was taking his supposed crush, no, it was that Jongin chose his supposed crush over him. 

 

Kyungsoo didn’t even have time to reflect about what he was feeling at the moment when the looking-like-a-couple noticed him. Sohee probably didn’t care about him ’cause she didn’t give him a bigger acknowledgement, but Jongin made a direct eye contact. And Kyungsoo did not break it, he was still too mesmerized with Jongin’s eyes to stop looking at him like there was nothing else surrounding them. It wasn’t until they passed each other that Jongin looked away and gave his attention to the girl, leaving Kyungsoo very confused and scared about how he was feeling. The older continued to walk straight forward, even when he heard Sohee’s laughs from behind him. 

 

 

 

∞

 

 

 

Kyungsoo locked himself in his room as soon as he returned home, but not before he returned Yoongi’s keys and phone to his owner. He didn’t bother to see if he was alone or not, he only knew that Jongin wasn’t home and he did not want to face him for the rest of the day. Something weird was happening to him and he didn’t know what. 

 

He laid on his back against the bed, facing the ceiling, but not for very long. Memories about Jongin hovering over him right there squeezed inside his mind and he quickly turned to face his pillow, a faint blush creeping on his cheeks. Suddenly he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and picked it up with one hand, not changing position. 

 

 

 

 **FROM:** HongBin’s art 

 **TO:** Kyungie~

 

Hey Hyung! Sry for calling you Kyungie before… I know u don’t like it but u didn’t have to leave without saying goodbye T.T

 

 

 

Kyungsoo chuckled and smiled. Knowing his best friend he wouldn’t let him go next time he saw him if he didn’t reply now. 

 

 

 

 **FROM:** Kim Kyungsoo

 **TO:** Hongbean 

 

I forgive you. Sorry for that. Can I maybe make it up for you? No cinema. 

 

 

 

 **FROM:** HongBin’s art

 **TO:** Kyungie~

 

But whyy~? Why no cinema?

 

 

 

 **FROM:** Kim Kyungsoo

 **TO:** Hongbean

 

Stop whining. Just pick another thing or else I won’t do anything at all. 

 

 

 

 **FROM:** HongBin’s art

 **TO:** Kyungie~

 

Alright alright u win. How ’bout we go to this new club? I heard many are going to the opening next Saturday. 

 

 

 

 **FROM:** Kim Kyungsoo

 **TO:** Hongbean

 

Seriously?

 

 

 

 **FROM:** HongBin’s art

 **TO:** Kyungie~

 

C’mon hyung~! It will be fun! 

 

 

 

 **FROM:** Kim Kyungsoo

 **TO:** Hongbean

 

Whatever.

 

 

 

 **FROM:** HongBin’s art

 **TO:** Kyungie~

 

I’ll pick you up at 11 PM then!

 

 

 

Kyungsoo put his phone on the nightstand. He didn't know what to think about the club thing. At least maybe it would distract him from reality.

 

 

 

∞

 

 

 

The club was nothing like Kyungsoo had imagined it. He certainly did not expect it to be so ’new’ somehow, although it was the opening night, and with so many different colors. Sure he was only seventeen and being in a club was not what the law said was right, but they had let him in and that was what counted. His choice of clothes had been very simple, something he had in his closet but never really used: a pair of black skinny leather pants and a white t-shirt, with a soft black cardigan around his waist in case it was cold. But since it was almost May the weather wasn’t a problem. 

 

The club had one big hell of a bar on the right side with some seats nearby and accompanied by soft couches with teenagers making out on them. To the left were the toilets and just in front was the biggest dance floor Kyungsoo had ever seen, although he hadn’t seen many. 

 

Hongbin tugged Kyungsoo by the arm to follow him and led him to the bar.

 

”One Daiquiri please and- oh what do you want Kyungsoo?” Hongbin asked.

 

Kyungsoo looked at him in shock, was he already drinking?

 

”Eh… Nothing?” Kyungsoo said, sitting down on one of the bar stools. When the bartender went to fix Hongbin’s _Daiquiri_ Kyungsoo looked up at him with wide eyes, gripping his arm in a serious manner. ”What the hell do you think you are doing?”

 

Hongbin looked at him confused. ”What do you mean?”

 

Kyungsoo couldn’t help rolling his eyes. ”You aren’t off age yet, you can’t just drink alcohol like that!” 

 

”I can here.” Hongbin replied with a wink. 

 

The rest of their friends appeared right then and Kyungsoo just didn’t want to hang out with them if they were all going to drink, so he stood up and went to the dance floor, which was filled with all kinds of people. Well, actually, the whole club had gotten very crowded in the short time Kyungsoo had been there. 

 

He was kind of pushing himself through the mass of people dancing when he saw someone very familiar a few feet away. It took him some time to fully recognize him but when he did he felt a shiver crawl down his spine, the deer-caught-in-headlights-looking boy was dancing with a guy, a guy that wasn’t the one who he had been having sex with in the locker room. He knew it wasn’t the same guy because the one he saw yesterday was taller than this boy, although both boys were blonde, excluding the deer-caught-in-headlights-looking one. He was about to ignore it and walk somewhere far away from that boy when he saw him kiss the one he was dancing with. Well, it was a kiss at first but then it escalated very quickly and became a very visual make out. 

 

 _What a player._  

 

Kyungsoo decided that it wasn’t worth his time and turned to his left to leave. He didn’t go too far before he spotted the actual guy that he had seen yesterday. He didn’t even know how he recognized him, but his body was somehow difficult to miss. Broad shoulders, blonde messy hair, sharp jawline and a beautiful confused face. Kyungsoo could see how he was looking for someone and he felt pity rush through his veins. That other boy was cheating on him and he seemed so worried and confused that Kyungsoo couldn’t just stand there and watch. He approached him as fast as the people would let him by and lightly tapped on the tall blonde’s shoulder. 

 

”Ehem… Hey, excuse me?” Kyungsoo said after he had cleared his throat.

 

The boy turned around to see him, he blinked a few times before he moved a bit to let Kyungsoo pass. 

 

”Oh, sorry.” He said while he stood by one side. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

”No, it’s not that. I’m sorry to say it but your boyfriend is making out with some dude on the dance floor nearby the bar.” Kyungsoo could see how the boy’s eyes widened immensely. He pointed where they were making out and the tall blonde nodded a thank you before running off. 

 

_At least he didn’t recognize me._

 

Satisfied with himself, Kyungsoo decided that being where he was wasn’t going to give him any good, so he continued through the dance floor to reach the exit. Although what stopped him this time was what he really didn’t want to see. 

 

Jongin was moving his body, almost grinding, against Sohee’s in the middle of the dance floor. His moves smooth and sexy, making Kyungsoo’s breath hitch for a split second. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him. The way Jongin’s arm would hold Sohee’s waist sometimes. He felt exactly as he had felt the day before, only much more intense. It hurt in his chest to see them dance like that with each other and it hurt even more to realize that what he really wanted was to be the one dancing there, with _Jongin_ , not Sohee.

 

The pain in his chest intensified when he saw how close they were and how much Sohee was touching him. 

 

_I should be the one doing that._

 

He didn’t even care what he thought anymore, the only thing that was controlling his mind was the will to take Jongin out of that girl’s filthy hands. He ran up to them, bumping into a few people on his way, and took a hold of Jongin’s arm. His brother looked at him in surprise and what just about to say something when Kyungsoo cut him.

 

”Follow me.” 

 

Well, he actually didn’t have a choice since Kyungsoo practically dragged him outside of the club. Jongin was baffled with Kyungsoo’s behavior and when they stood outside he couldn’t help feeling like he expected something. 

 

”What are you doing?” Jongin asked confused. 

 

”I need to talk to you.” Kyungsoo looked really serious, like something had been on his mind for days.

 

”Can’t it wait for tomorrow? I was dancing with Sohee an-”

 

”No!” Kyungsoo shouted, surprising Jongin even more. ”No, it can’t.” He said more calmly.

 

Jongin crooked an eyebrow signaling the other to continue with what he was going to tell him. Kyungsoo gulped and inhaled heavily.

 

”You can’t be with her.” He finally said, although he wasn’t really thinking.

 

”With who?” Jongin asked, he did know who Kyungsoo was talking about but he had to make sure. 

 

Kyungsoo half glared at him and sighed. ”With Sohee.” 

 

”And why is that?” Jongin was getting annoyed about this conversation and he didn’t know why. He crossed his arms over his chest to show his annoyance.

 

”Becau-”

 

”Is it because I _took_ her from you? Because you _liked_ her?!”

 

”No!”

 

”Then wh-?!”

 

”It’s because I like _you_!” 

 

It took one second for Kyungsoo to realize what he had just said, his eyes widening in consequence.

 

Two seconds for Jongin to realize it too. 

 

Three for Jongin to make the biggest decision of his life. 

 

And four for him to take both his hands on Kyungsoo’s cheeks and lean down to press his lips over the other’s. 

 

It was an impulse, a feeling, something that made Jongin do it. He felt the plump lips of the other move ever so slightly and he shivered just with that feeling. His chest was exploding with emotions, something he had never experienced before. With his eyes closed he slowly moved his lips and felt how Kyungsoo’s arms embraced him by his waist. 

 

It wasn’t until Jongin had started to move his lips that Kyungsoo allowed himself to close his eyes, before being too afraid that he was imagining everything. But when he felt those lips against his, he swore he had never felt anything like it. It sure wasn’t perfect, but it was marvelous to the both of them. And of course he wanted more, so he moved his lips, copying Jongin’s movements, leaving out a content sigh.

 

Suddenly he felt how Jongin’s lips left his and he opened his eyes to know what was happening, just in time to see a big manly guy, with his grip on Jongin’s arm, punch Jongin’s face with such force that the latter fell on the ground. 

 

Kyungsoo shrieked in horror and was just about to run up to Jongin to help him when the same big guy walked up to Kyungsoo and took him buy the collar of his t-shirt, pushing him against the nearest wall. 

 

”You homos shouldn’t even have the right to live.” The guy looked at Kyungsoo in the eyes with disgust. He looked away and made a gargling noise, just to face Kyungsoo again and spit on his face. 

 

”Faggots.” 

 

He let Kyungsoo go and went inside the club.

 


	4. Learning how to live with it

 

”Jongin!” Kyungsoo ran over to where Jongin was lying. ”Are you okay?” 

 

Jongin sat up and looked at him with sorrowful eyes. Kyungsoo became even more concerned when he saw the red mark on his brother’s jaw. He quickly sat down and took a good look at Jongin to see if he was hurt anywhere else. 

 

”Hyung… I’m okay.” Jongin said while he cupped Kyungsoo’s face, brushing his thumb over the other’s cheek to take away the spit. ”What about you hyung? Are you okay?” 

 

”I’m fine, don’t worry. Let’s go home.” 

 

Kyungsoo helped Jongin stand on his feet and they took the nearest cab. 

 

 

∞

 

 

They were quiet during the ride. It wasn’t an awkward silence, no, it was rather comfortable. Kyungsoo looked out of the window, finding the dark sky with the shiny stars fascinating. He knew that Jongin was looking at him every now and then but didn’t do anything to stop the latter. 

 

Not a sound was heard when they entered their house. It was so quiet that it almost felt like no one was home. 

 

”Mom and dad are probably sleeping.” Jongin whispered while taking his shoes off. 

 

”Well, aren’t you a genius?” Kyungsoo whispered back with irony, taking his shoes off too.

 

They went upstairs as soundless as possible, not wanting to wake their parents up. They stood awkwardly, not really looking at each other, when they where outside their rooms. 

 

”Um… I’ll just…” Jongin said while pointing at his room.

 

”Yeah, yeah, m-me too…” Kyungsoo said while scratching his neck awkwardly. 

 

”Goodnight then…” 

 

”Yeah, goodnight…” 

 

Jongin cleared his throat and Kyungsoo kept fidgeting with his fingers before they both entered their own room. 

 

Kyungsoo ran into the bathroom hoping his brother would take some time to change first and brushed his teeth as fast as he could without hurting himself. Even though he had hurried he was still caught exciting the bathroom by his brother, although he didn’t know it himself. Jongin merely chuckled when he saw the short brunette scurry off, trying his best to go unnoticed. 

 

”You’re cute hyung…” Jongin whispered but covered his mouth when he surprised himself with his own words. Memories of what had happened before flashed through his mind and his eyes widened, his cheeks heating up like flames and his hands shaking slightly. 

 

_What have I done?_

 

He rushed things through, not really thinking about what he was doing. His thoughts were fixed on his brother, on his cute smile, on those plump lips, on the kiss he actually enjoyed, on the things he started to feel after the intimate interaction and on how he knew that what they did was wrong, so wrong. 

 

_But why did it feel so good?_

 

 

∞

 

 

Sleep didn’t apparently want to meet Kyungsoo that night. He just couldn’t close his eyes without being filled with unbearable thoughts. Although many crossed paths with Sohee, the club and his friends, all of them ended up with the image of Jongin kissing him. And he shook his head each time it appeared to make it disappear, but nonetheless it appeared again. 

 

”Damn it!” He said under his breath. 

 

Kyungsoo turned around and put the blankets over his head in hope that he would fall asleep, but the sudden creak that the bathroom door made when it was opened and the light from the room beaming under the door on his side made him fully alert. He took his phone from the night stand and looked at the screen: 4:17 AM. Jongin wasn’t one to go to the bathroom during the nights, it happened occasionally but rarely often, which made an intriguing feeling crawl on Kyungsoo’s insides. 

 

_Why is he awake now?_

 

Suddenly the doorknob of his door turned downwards slowly. Kyungsoo gulped and turned around quickly again, making his back face the bathroom and easier for him to pretend to be asleep. He heard how the door opened carefully and how the light switch clicked, steps approached him and the door closed. Kyungsoo barely breathed at this point, his body frozen on the spot and his eyes closed tightly. More steps were heard and the sound of an unsteady breath made it to Kyungsoo’s ears. He felt how the blankets were picked up and the contrast between the air kissing his bare legs and the warmth from his skin gave him goosebumps. The bed sank down behind him and someone made their way beneath the blankets and into the warmth Kyungsoo’s body was spreading. 

 

”I know you’re awake hyung.” Jongin said while laying himself in a comfortable position, very much like Kyungsoo was lying. The older boy breathed out and Jongin chuckled while yawning. 

 

”What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo said.

 

”Couldn’t sleep.” Jongin said. He was facing Kyungsoo’s back and was slightly startled when the older turned around to face him. 

 

”So?” 

 

”You couldn’t either.” Jongin said with a vague smirk. 

 

”That doesn’t mean you can come here and-” 

 

Jongin put his right hand on Kyungsoo’s neck and leaned in, interrupting the older one with an unexpected kiss. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened when he felt the pressure between their lips once again. He knew it was wrong, this wasn’t supposed to happen, but it felt better this time than it had done the last time. Jongin closed his eyes when he gently kissed Kyungsoo, not breaking apart until he was sure he could resist till the next morning without going crazy with desire. Kyungsoo didn’t like that he felt so good kissing the other male, he hated that Jongin was the only one that had made him feel like an ice cube in an oven with just a kiss.

 

Jongin leaned back slowly, noticing Kyungsoo’s eyes looking at him intensely, his breath still uneven. 

 

”Goodnight hyung.” He said and turned to face the bathroom instead of his brother. Kyungsoo inhaled deeply and turned to the other side, exhaling to calm himself down. 

 

Regardless of how Kyungsoo’s head was spinning with different emotions and thoughts, sleep finally accepted his friend request. 

 

 

∞

 

 

April month wasn’t that warm, but why did Kyungsoo feel like he was laying beside a radiator? It was like the sun had decided to live next door. His body was sweating and his t-shirt was uncomfortable sticking to his chest, the blankets absorbing his bare legs like a sponge in the water. Something was tickling his forehead too, something warm yet very soft, almost like a hot breeze. 

 

His eyes shot open immediately, encountering something that looked very much like a wall. The owlish eyes darted everywhere and a strong wave of self-consciousness drowned him. A hand on his waist, his legs tangled with other’s, his face against a chest, his hands holding tightly to a shirt. 

 

 _O-oh God…_  

 

”Jongin wake up.” Kyungsoo whispered, not wanting to wake up anyone else in the house. The only sound made after that was Jongin’s occasional snore. 

 

”Wake up!” Kyungsoo said and shook his brother, this time he eared a leg over his own. The older boy sighted and tried to untangle himself, ending up with the younger one clinging onto him like a koala bear. 

 

”Jongin wake up for God’s sake!” Kyungsoo almost shouted, this time earning an unhappy groan. 

 

Suddenly Jongin took a firm grip of Kyungsoo’s shoulders and hovered over him, making the older almost jump in surprise. 

 

”Good morning hyung.” He said with a smile, putting his hands beside each of Kyungsoo’s shoulders and leaned down like he was doing a push-up to give him a kiss on the cheek.  

 

”W-what are you doing?” Kyungsoo said with his innocent eyes wide open and his shutter slipping out.

 

”Did you sleep well?” Jongin said with a crooked smile. 

 

Everything was spinning again. Kyungsoo’s body was shaking nervously and he needed immediate space to clear his mind. 

 

”G-get off.” He said with the firmest voice he could conjure up. 

 

”No.” Jongin was now shamelessly smirking.

 

”Get off!” Kyungsoo pushed him lightly, not making a great difference in Jongin’s position. 

 

”Why?” Jongin whined, changing his expression completely to a childish one and all over pouty. 

 

”Because!” Kyungsoo said almost shouting again. 

 

”I don’t want to!” Jongin said imitating Kyungsoo’s tone. 

 

”Get. _Off!_ ” Kyungsoo pushed Jongin with all his force, which wasn’t much but enough to actually get him off himself and make him fall on the floor with a loud thump. Kyungsoo covered his mouth with his hand in shock as he saw Jongin just lay there.

 

”Wow, you’re stronger than I thought.” The younger said and rubbed his back with small laughs in between. 

 

”Jongin I’m so sorry I-”

 

”Kids, what’s going on?” 

 

They looked at each other in panic, hearing their mother going upstairs to investigate what was happening inside their rooms. Both reacted exactly the same way: running towards the bathroom to hide. They barely closed the door when Junah opened Kyungsoo’s bedroom door. Both boys were trying to catch their breath as they stayed as quiet as possible, waiting patiently for their mother to leave. After a while she did and they exhaled in relief. 

 

”That was close…” Kyungsoo said without really thinking about his selection of words, looking at the door anxiously. 

 

”Yeah…” Jongin stepped up to him from behind and gave him a back hug, startling his brother. 

 

”Jongin stop it.” He said and turned to face him. ”You know that this isn’t okay.”

 

”Can’t I hug my own brother?” Jongin said in his defense. 

 

”There are limits we can’t cro-” 

 

Jongin smashed their lips again, interrupting Kyungsoo for the second time that day with the same method. He loved how Kyungsoo’s plump lips felt against his. How smooth it felt and how gentle everything was when he did that to the older one. A tingling feeling in his stomach, a need for the taste, a desire for the body made him go crazy. 

 

Kyungsoo’s heart was beating like a drum. His mind wasn’t much better, he couldn’t decide if he should accept his own feelings or not. His body just gave in but his mind was battling to get himself out. 

 

Jongin broke the kiss tenderly, resting his forehead against Kyungsoo’s, breathing warm puffs over the shorter’s cheeks. 

 

”You were saying?” Jongin said with a small smile. 

 

”You can’t just kiss me like that.” Kyungsoo answered while looking at the taller’s face through his eyelashes 

 

”I just did.” 

 

”This is not okay.” 

 

”Nobody has to know.” 

 

”Jongin…” 

 

”You were the one who confessed to me.” 

 

Kyungsoo’s cheeks turned into a color very much like two red apples, sweat starting to form on his back. 

 

”I-I…” 

 

”I like you too hyung.” Jongin smile grew wider and he dared to peck Kyungsoo’s lips, the other just plained out awestruck. 

 

”Y-you w-what?” Kyungsoo shuddered. 

 

”I like you and you like me, how much easier can it be?” 

 

”Jongin this everything but _easy_.” 

 

”It’s as easy as you want it to be.” 

 

”But this is wrong…” 

 

”What’s wrong with two human beings liking each other?” 

 

”We’re brothers!” 

 

”You’re adopted, remember?” Jongin said it slightly in a tone too common for Kyungsoo’s liking and leaned back with his elbows on the sink. 

 

”Yeah, so?” Kyungsoo stood in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest.

 

”Firstly — we don’t have the same genes, which makes it less possible for our children to be born much like a freak.” 

 

”Jongin!” 

 

”Sorry, sorry! Um… non developed? You understand me.” 

 

Kyungsoo sighed and put his weight on his left leg. 

 

”Secondly — we are two guys, which makes it impossible to have any children at all, if we don’t adopt, and that just makes the non developed children theory walk into a wall.” 

 

”Jongin…”

 

”There are no more excuses Kyungsoo, just embrace it instead.” 

 

”What about our morals Jongin? What about the things people will say? What about the things _our_ parents will say?!”

 

”Nobody has to know!” 

 

”Are you insane?” 

 

”Maybe… but that doesn’t change the fact that I like you as much as you like me.” 

 

Kyungsoo was going to reply but stopped himself right before anything came out of his mouth. The words sank in bit by bit, his mind in pure shock as he hadn’t really realized what everything they were talking to _really_ meant. Jongin knew how he felt, Kyungsoo had told him only hours ago, but the way he remarked that it wasn’t only him that liked the other, but the other way around too, made his heart beat faster. His liking for Jongin as a person was soon competing against his love for Jongin as a brother, which scared him to no end. Guilt was building inside of him, face draining its color and everything just crashing down because all of the negative things that popped up in his mind with just the thought of his brother’s lips on his. Jongin stood straight up and put softly a hand on his brother’s arm. 

 

”Kyungsoo…”

 

”Give me time.” He said and made eye contact, although the shorter’s eyes were blinded by a fog of rational thoughts society taught him to think in such situations. The younger one nodded and Kyungsoo hurried to just disappear from his sight. 

 

 

∞

 

 

He avoided Jongin during the day, working on an essay or just studying anything to keep his mind busy with something non-Jongin related. His brother would glance at him occasionally but they didn’t talk. When lunch came they ate in the living room watching a movie and when dinner arrived their parents chatted away the silence. 

 

But during the night one of them would sneak inside the other’s bedroom to sleep in his bed and curl up against his side. In the beginning it was only Jongin, but after a week with the same routine Kyungsoo paid a visit too and after that it just became a habit to actually sleep together. They didn’t talk about it, nor what they felt. Jongin did, though, steal a kiss or two every now and then, sometimes from Kyungsoo’s cheek and other times from his lips, but always capturing a little piece of the brunette’s heart. 

 

They kept doing that — ignoring each other when the sun shined and slept together when the moon took over the sky — for weeks without getting any of their feelings sorted out. 

 

It was a Friday evening in the beginning of May when Jongin couldn’t take it anymore. 

 

”We need to talk.” He said while storming into Kyungsoo’s room without any permission at all. 

 

Kyungsoo was sitting on his desk chair, glasses on and his nose down in the physics book. He tentatively raised an eyebrow as if demanding an explanation of the reason why his brother would dare to show up in his room when he was studying. After a long pause of Jongin just standing there Kyungsoo sighed and put the book down. 

 

”About what?” He looked at his younger brother with tired eyes, watching as he closed the door and sat down on his bed, hands clasped together between his knees. 

 

”About us hyung, about what have happened to our relationship and how we feel about it.” Jongin said, a serious tone lying underneath his words. Kyungsoo turned his chair so it faced the other boy after putting his pencil down on the desk too. 

 

”We’ve already talked about this. There’s nothing left to say.” 

 

”Nothing left to say? Nothing left to say?!” Jongin practically shouted and scoffed incredulously at the other male’s words. ”I’ve been nagging on my brain since you said you liked me, practically eating myself up from the inside with anxiety! I’ve been going crazy with these little night meetings we have going on and then receiving not even a greeting from you during the day! I don’t know what to think anymore and I’m just so utterly, sincerely and tiredly _confused_.”

 

”I don’t know how to explain it…” Kyungsoo looked down on the floor almost in shame, his facade he had put up with before falling apart as easily as a sand castle in the water. 

 

”Explain what?!” That came out of Jongin’s mouth a little higher than he wanted, noticing how Kyungsoo flinched with his words. 

 

”My feelings Jongin! You’re not the only one with a messed up brain, you know?” He pulled his hands to his hair, dragging it as hard as he could until he felt a warm pair of hands sooth his desire to rip himself apart. 

 

”Tell me about them then…” Jongin’s voice had calmed down, too afraid he might’ve shaken his brother up a bit before. 

 

”Like I said, it’s complicated…” Kyungsoo closed his eyes and rested his forehead on his palms, his elbow on his knees. He hadn’t even noticed that Jongin was kneeling in front of him, placing the hands on his knees to give some sort of comfort. 

 

”I know… But can you try?” 

 

Kyungsoo shallowed thick and just said what had bugging his mind all this time as best as possible. 

 

”I guess you know by now that I have never… Um… You know. And I don’t know any other kind of love than the one family provides. I don’t know how it feels to be in love or liking someone, but feeling this wrong and guilty like I do now is probably now it. I-I just can’t do it Jongin… I just don’t know how to deal with everything… With my own feelings…” Kyungsoo kept his face hidden while Jongin fell silent, his own thoughts taking away his rationality for as long as he stayed like that. 

 

And he stayed quiet for a long time, Kyungsoo even peaking up to see what was wrong with him, before he spoke up. 

 

”Love is a mixture of evolutionary roots, biological secretions and chemistry. But love is also irrational, intoxicating and plain out blind. Love can’t see, it doesn’t have eyes to judge you, to look down on you, it can’t see you at all. Not your looks, your actions nor your behavior. It can’t, and will never, be able to see the difference between gender and sexuality. Never see the difference between individuals, between the affection you have towards your parents or you best friend. It won’t see the difference if we love each other as brothers or as human beings.”

 

”Jongin…” 

 

”No, let me finish-”

 

”Jongin.”

 

”Hyung I-”

 

”Was it during the high or on the way back down when you realized that you felI in love?”

 

”It was you.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cringe so hard at this you have no idea. But then again, I wrote this in 2015 and I am positive that I didn't know what I was thinking


End file.
